Stupid me...

Hmmm..... mengeluh? Maybe... :P

Kenapa mengeluh?
Sbb teringat kat lelaki berkaca mata, berkulit sawo matang and he really have a very sweet smiling face.

Hmm... mengeluh lagi?
Ape dah jadi ni...??

Lelaki tuh takde hati kat kite.. tapi kite selalu dok teringat kat dia.. Hmm.. maybe only once a while.. but seeing someone who look like him really make my heart feels like popping out.

Kenape jadi camtuh?
Takkan masih teringat pada yang tak sudi??

No I am not... huhu... but sometimes there are things that I cant really totally forget about. Especially in this special relationship.. I had a special feelings towards him before.. I have tried to bury it very deep down or try to burn them down into ashes.

Hmm... mengeluh jugak lagi...
Adoi Nana sayang...
Lupakan saja lah perasaan tuh, there shouldnt be any turning back, isnt it Nana??

Afterall.... I shouldnt have these kind of feelings anymore towards him kn?
heheh... ala... cuma terlintas je kot.. dont u think??

So, semalam.. I dengar le lagu ni.. cam terkena plak batang idung pesek ni.. :))
Now... let's enjoy!!

Tak Mungkin Kerana Sayang

Setiba di persimpangan
Langkah kita tak lagi sehaluan
Bermula di saat itu
Tidak senada irama dan lagu

Begitu hidup ini
Tiada yang abadi
Yang patah tumbuh
Yang hilang berganti

Kau telah jauh, jauh dariku
Tiada ruang di hati buatmu
Namun harusku akui
Ada ketika di minda kau menjelma kembali

Sekali sekala ada
Ada rindu yang datang tiba-tiba
Tak mungkin kerana sayang
Cuma terganggu oleh perasaan

Begitu hidup ini
Tiada yang abadi
Yang patah tumbuh
Yang hilang berganti

My Morning....

Pagi ni nana berjaya bangun awal. Traffic pon smooth. So.. i was glad enough i was early.
In a happy mood, i bawa kereta ke Station LRT Taman Melati. I found out yang free parking place kat Melati area tuh dah penuh, so, i decided to park my car at Tioman flat parking compound. I know it is wrong to park there sbb parking tuh suppose for tenant aje kn.. but selalu kan org lain keje bawa kereta.. and the parking is not full during working hours.

Lepas i locked my car and happily started walking to the station, i dengar ade honk from my back. I nampak ade satu 4 wheel drive tapi tak tau la apesal dia honk. So, i waited him to drive to the opposite side of the road. Rupanye, dia nak marah sbb i was parking at the space there. Dia menjerit2 like nobody's business. Mentang2 la i ni perempuan and obviously he is a pakcik. Suka ati dia aje nak marah2 kat i. So, with a regret of waiting for him tadi, i buat muka bodoh aje la. Nak buat ape lagi.. marah2 pon tak guna jugak kn? :P

I know i was wrong. I have no comment for that. Tapi dari i kene saman dek DBKL sbb abusing traffic parking tepi jalan and to save my cash of RM4 parking fee per day. I have to park there la. What choice do i have? Sedih betul.. lagipon i know i cant afford to pay extra for most of the things... :((

Jadi pagi ni, dengan sepenuh hati, i tried my best not to be in bad mood. Just think positive aje la. Lantak la kat pakcik tuh. Dia nak kate ape pon i just dont care. Nothing really matter. What's important is to get to work on time.. tu aje. Tapi rase gak mata ni cam berair2, and rase cam a bit sour here and there.. huhu..

Nana!!! Cheer up... today is friday! Eventho esok keje.. but just half day ma.. kan?
Gotta work... Dot.. Dot.. Dot..

Lazy Mood...

I am damn extremely lazy today.. donno why.. but i am.. sejuk pon satu hal jugak. One of the kakak in the office bawak ikan masak asam pedas and she offered me some of it but i am so lazy to walk to the other side of the road to buy nasi putih for myself so i turned it down. Cam tolak rezeki la plak.. and cam tak sopan pon ade jugak rasenye. But i cant help myself of being lazy today. Malas nak bergerak byk, malas nak fikir byk.. and segalanye ade perkataan malas. Kalau ade award "Miss Malas Universe".. i think i will win the award for the day kot.. ahahah!!!

Hmm.. tadi nana baca blog my fren. He is planning a vacation to Yogyakarta.. huhu.. 4 days 4 nites to a historic city.. and so damn cheap. I wish i could spend myself for a nice vacation too. Dah lama sebenarnye tak pergi mane2 even dalam Malaysia. I dont think i afford to go anywhere until next year. And next year pulak, maybe kene simpan duit jugak sbb nak kawin. Hmm.. kenape la susah sgt nak kawin skrg.. sume pon pakai duit.

Owh, cakap pasal kawin, both of my best friends are getting married this year. Huhuh.. one is he, one is she... hmm... I will eventually be lonely without my best friends by my side. Lucky for me, now im not alone. At least i got a boyfriend. And that's one of the reason my female best friend is getting married sooner from the date they had planned. She said that i no longer alone and my bf can take care of me if she gets married. hmmm... I am sad but i am happy for her. Now she can be happy after all the hard time she has been through. Owh.. and also to my male best friend. Eventhough he is a pain in the ass.. but he is still my lovely sweet and perasan hensem friend. Hehe.. Hope his wedding is blessed.. Amin..

Then, bile nye pulak nak pergi bercuti ni? Nak keje pon cam dah bosan ni.. monotonous je.. hhuhuhu... I am still searching for the suitable career in town.. which is near to my living place, nice and condusive working environment and colleagues, promising career, stable company and a reasonable boss and good pay which is equal to the workload. Huhuh.. Kinda demanding, dont u think?? Keep on dreaming baby... hehehe...

Anyway.. life still goes on... I had my confirmation letter last friday.. and I went for an interview yesterday.. huhu.. Nice company with a young and handsome boss. As i said, I am still job hunting, as long as it takes.. until i dont know when.. because I, myself dont really know what is the answer. Today evening after work, all of us will have a short briefing.. which I really hope it will be short coz I have my own personal things to be done after work. Hmmm... I just hate meeting or briefing after work.. it will drag unnesessarily... *Hope the spelling is right..*

Okayla... long writing huh?.. i never remember that i like to do writing.. but now i dont think i have the choice.. hehe... Off I go.....

I Am Sad :((

Today... I am very very sad. Rase cam nak nangis, bengang and disappointed. I am late to office no matter how early I wake up in the morning. I will definitely need to walk from the LRT station to office and fro. The LRT is one more thingy.. huhu.. tekanan.. tak tau nak komen ape. Semua pon going against me…

Bila sampai office lambat, bos pon mula la panjangkan tengkuk cam kura-kura. Geram betul. Sekarang ni bos pon cam mencari salah, online buka news pon salah, nak kate main games pon takde but being accused of playing games. Pastu, siap boleh cakap kat my colleague lain yang I buat camtuh. Elo…. I ni pekak kot. Dia tak pandai nak guna sign language… Geram betul…

Sejak keje kat sini, supposed skrg ni dah boleh senyum happily sbb dah abis probation. But I am still under probation!!! Said that i am already confirm but cakap mulut mana valid melainkan ade black and white confirmation letter. Nak minta cuti pon tak boleh.. kang amik MC banyak2 kang kate tak take care diri sendiri plak. Ade ke my bos ble cakap that I am fat and not healthy. Hampeh betul... *I am quoting this in my own word.. cara dia cakap lagi sarcastic...*

Anyway... lantak la.. today datang awal ke... datang lambat ke... balik tetap on time... peduli apa... Hmmm.... okla.. dah nak balik.. nak pack... Yeay..... Off then..

Post Yang Takde Tajuk....

Sekarang ni jam menunjukkan pukul 4.42 ptg. Rasa malas nak keje tuh cam dah makin menimbun2. Lagipon hari dah start mendung kat luar.. huhu.. kat showroom arini agak lengang. Malas nak tgk job kat dalam.. biar la outstanding sampai esok. Arini nana rase cam nak balik tido.

Pagi tadi bangun tido pukul 7. Punya la lambat.. mak dah bising tanye arini keje ke idak. Huhu.. mau tak keje.. mestila keje.. dgn kelam kabut bangun and kene mandi stail koboi aje.. terus gi office. Sume sbb diri sendiri gak.. G dah kejut at 6am that morning tapi malas nak bangun. Kan dah terlajak tido.. padan muka sendiri.. huhuh.. Otw ke lrt tu.. rase cm pelik je kenapa la jalan lengang semacam. Lupa la arini dah start cuti sekolah. Padanla cam ramai je org kawin last weekend and this weekend. Jemputan boleh tahan jgk la byknye.. but dont think that i can afford to attend all the wedding invitations.. Seriously, im broke. Dengan berbekalkan duit kurang dari 100 ringgit Malaysia.. nana kene survive sampai dapat gaji. Boleh ke? huhu... cabaran betul.

At this moment.. nana rase nana rindu kat G tapi nana tak dapat contact dia. Maybe bateri handphone dia dah kong. Hmmm... tabah aje la.. nana cam segan sket nak call office dia. Maybe before balik nanti kot... or just wait for his call.. hmm..

Oleh sbb lembab menaip and tak ble concentrate menyusun ayat.. huhu.. better i just pen-off now. Nanti kalau ade mase sambung... to be continued...

Flat Tyre

Hmm... isnin lepas, anta acik balik hostel dgn G. Masa otw balik tuh, kami lalu Jalan Tun Razak heading towards ttwangsa. I thot i didnt drive that fast pon.. and maintaining myself at the slow lane tapi ntahle ape yang nana langgar kat situ.. ade some kind of sound yang agak menakutkan.. risau gak kalau tayar pancit atau pecah masa tuh. Lucky for us, nothing happened there. Huh..

We decided to makan at ttwangsa.. sbb G teringin nak makan aiskrim walaupon arituh ujan sepanjang hari. Ada gerai makan next to the ice cream shop. Hmm.. i parked my car nearby aje. Walaupon ati cam tak sedap fikir pasal ape yang nana dah langgar kat jalan tadi.. but i managed to eat all the nasik goreng kampung. Maybe sbb lapar kot. Then bile dah abis makan.. ingat nak balik le.. biasela.. dh kenyang.. mestila nak balik ingat bantal je. * i missed my bed now.. sbb mengantuk sgt lepas lunch ni...* Huh... mase tuh la rase cam sedih sgt sbb tgk tayar kete flat. Ni second time kene.. arituh pon flat kat ttwangsa gak. Yang wat sedih tuh bukan sbb tayar tuh flat nak kene ganti.. tampal tayar pon 5 ringgit je.. tapi proses menukar tayar lepas makan.. aduss... penat seh.. perut dah senak.. nak buat keje berat ni.. mau tak mengah.. heehhe.. tapi nasib baik bf ada sekali masa tuh. So.. takde la teruk sgt nak kene wat sowang.

Smlm lepas rushed balik keje, nana gi kedai tayar Andy kat batu caves. Andy cakap i drive tak guna mata.. huhu.. teruk betul la org tua ni... pastu.. ble lak staff dia nak ketuk nana, soh tampal dalam tyre.. and dia nak charged me rm20. Hampeh betul... I soh dia tampal biase aje.. rm5.
Tu la memang dah lumrah kalau perempuan gi mane2 workshop pon.. org kedai tuh sure nk kelentong kite... ingat sume perempuan boleh ditipu camtuh aje ke.. :(

huhu... okla.. takleh nak tulis panjang2.. ekceli im replacing my colleague kejap aje for lunch. dia pon dah balik.. eheh.. off i go.. :D

Idea...

Sekarang ni nana rase nana jarang update blog. Bukan nana taknak update tapi nana tak tau nak tulis ape.. dulu masa nana single mingle tuh cam byk je nak tulis.. but now, bile ade bf cam takde idea nak tulis pape... pasal ek??

Bile nana fikirkan... nana rase mase nana lonely dulu.. nana selalu blogging.. maybe tu aje la cara menghilangkan bosan dan sepi.. hehe.. mesti ramai yang tak berkenan dgn equation yang nana buat ni kot.. but i dont really care.. just my personal opinion..

depressed + lonely + boring = idea for blogging

ehehe.. but it is true ape.. terima aje la kenyataan tu. Tapi kalau nana kene tambah lagi kot.. mesti ade sleeping and eating.. ahahah...

So... sekarang ni maybe cam dah ade cara lain utk menghilangkan rasa bosan yang melimpah2 sebelum ni.. jadik dah ilang idea bile nak blog..*ye ke ilang idea?? bile time idea byk tuh rasenye panjang aje nana tulis...*

hmmm.....ntahla... off then!:P

Last Weekend....

Last saturday, i went out jogging dgn G after sending my mother to her school she is teaching in Sentul. We went to Taman Tasik Metropolitan in Kepong. Matahari dah mula keluar masa kami sampai.. which was at 8am. *lambat gile gi jog. org lain sure dah abis 2-3 round.. huhu* Joging pon bukan le semenggah sangat.. huhu.. malas gile.. lagipon hidung plak tersumbat, mmg la tak larat lari. Ble jalan aje.. itu pon dah berpeluh2 cam ape ntah..

After jog, i got a text msg from Juju tanye nak tgk PGL the musical tak? *huhu.. definitely nana nak gi.. lagi mau tanya...* Tiket free... thank you Juju. I love u alwiz. Lepas jog, kami gi makan roti canai.. huhu.. teringin sangat nak makan roti canai arituh. Nasib baik bf rajin melayan.. kalau tak, kempunanla nana ni..

Tghari tuh.. nana tak sanggup dah tgk kereta sendiri. Kotor gile.. siap ade tahi burung lagi kat bonet kete. Hmm.. salah sendiri la jugak sbb malas nak gi basuh.. so, i decided nak basuh kete dulu before gi Istana Budaya for 3 pm show of PGL the musical. Hmm.. basuh punye basuh.. lupa masa.. Ya Allah... Juju pon dah bagi msg supaya jangan lewat datang.. and i only have less than an hour utk siap mandi and drive to Istana Budaya. Huhu... menggelabahnye nana.. padan muka sendiri kan? Masa my bf datang tu mmg le nana kene sergah... dia cakap " Huh! Tak siap lagi?? Dah pukul brapa ni?" dgn loghat kedah dia yang ala2 di'modernize' dgn bahasa KL. haha..

Lucky for us.. sampai on time and senang dapat parking. Rasenye dah ble lawan dalam F1 kot.. ahah... seyes cam org gile bawak kete. My bf asyik soh i sabar, maybe sbb dia cuak tgk i bawak kete kalut semacam. Lepas doing some touch-up kat muka nana, then we went to the hall. Then terus dengar announcement kene masuk hall. Our seats kat atas, upper circle 3rd row. Dah la i tak bawak my second mata.. huhu.. langsung tak jelas muka Gusti Adipati yang gagah perkasa. 1/2 half tuh.. makan ati gak la.. sbb tak jelas. Then lepas intermission baru ok.. gi amik mata kat kete. I did enjoy the play especially bile Sultan Melaka menari happily ala2 broadway sbb nak kawin dgn puteri gunung ledang. I am always a fan of Adlin.. hmm. Very the best huhu.. Sorry la.. i dont like the hero, Hang Tuah. For me, dia tak melayu enuf to be Hang Tuah. Gusti puteri is always the best... her graceful dance and her excellent acting skills.. just so magnificent.. huhu I love the music.. really nice. My bf siap beli cd lagi bile abis play. Hope lain kali dapat peluang tgk teater lagi. *Sayang... pls take note... next time.. hehe*

Abis cite sabtu, ari ahad kami plan gi jog again kat Metro lake tapi ended up kat FRIM. Masuk dah la kene bayar RM6. Bile dah park kete, we decided to go for the canopy walk. Kami tak pegi beli tiket pon arituh sbb saje nak cuba naik dulu. Tiket naik canopy walk is RM5 each person. Nak naik sampai atas tu ingat takde la teruk sgt.. tapi sbb dah berkurun lama tak naik bukit camtuh.. penat gile. Nak naik sampai atas tuh punye la susah.. dah lama tak berpeluh2 camtuh. Dah la arituh nana period 2nd day, walaupon tak heavy, but still naik kebas abis satu badan ni. Sampai kat one point, i dont think i dare enuf to climb anymore. Takut kang i tergolek ke belakang. Huhu... nana cakap kat my bf yang nana dah tak larat nak naik lagi. So, kami patah balik. On the way down, nana nampak a couple of old lady walking the same route with me.. dalam hati nana pk, camne la makcik2 ni mampu memanjat sampai atas dan turun semula. Wah... tabik spring la.. hmmm... Nampaknye nana kene work out lagi.. my stamina is not that good, obviously...

Balik umah nana decided to rehat2 aje kat umah. Sebab nana dok golek2 kat depan tv, my brother said that nana cam ikan paus terdampar.. huhu.. i know la im fat but dont la be so cruel. Hmmm... my sis called me a water melon. huhu.. sedih sey.. adik2 nana ni.. mulut mmg takde insurance.. but i dont really take it personally. Hehe.. biar le org nak kate ape.. janji i happy. Betul tak?

Okla.. pjg sgt ni... O.F.F.....

Halal @ Haram...

Semalam kat office.. one of the manager masak bubur... bubur tu mmg la halal di makan.. tapi.. one of the ingredient is mince pork. huhu... bukan ke bubur tu dah jadik haram. Masalahnye.. manager ni cina.. so.. dia pon main tibai sesedap rase.. masak pulak kat showroom. Cam hampeh je.. dah la minggu ni nana has to be in-charge of showroom and reception counter. Geram pulak jadiknye.. smlm letak post geram kn... sebenarnye geram sgt smlm tuh... Kalau bau bubur babi tuh sedap boleh la i consider kot.. huhu.. tapi mmg tak sedap langsung!!! Masak pakai pressure cooker.. dalam office yang ade air-cond. Habis bau tak ilang, walaupon kat cooker tuh ade cooker hood.. tapi fan power tak cukup kuat nak sedut semua bau and asap kat situ. Island hood.. what do u expect more for the performance?? Atas hal tersebut.. maka dengan suka hati je nana bukak pintu office luas2.. and all the windows... i dont give a damn anymore... marah le.. mmg stuffy. Saje kot nak bagi nana mati dgn bau bubur babi yang diorg masak.. so that.. kurang la satu melayu islam dalam office ni.

Pastu.. pagi2 lagi dh kene tegur dgn bos.. sbb datang lambat. Huhuh.. bukan sengaja, naik public transport.. biase la tuh. Kadang2 awal gile.. kdg2 lambat gile.. huhu.. nak betul2 on time tu.. it would be once in the blue moon... Arini mmg lambat gile.. nana kuar cam biase je. Tapi bile sampai kat lrt station, tgk crowd has build up.. huhu.. ramai gile.. rase cam kat platform tuh dah tak leh nak bernafas.. huhu.. mase tuh dah pk dah.. mesti tak dapat nak sampai office cepat. Then.. tabah aje la.. takkan nak MC plak. Bengang betul.. bukan nana buat keje tak betul, cuma sekali skala nana lambat.. kalau nana lambat dalam seminit 2 pon nak kire.. masak la.. mentang2 kami ade punch card. Dah la dalam lrt takde air-cond. huhu.. panas rase cam dok dalam sauna tuh.. cuma beza dalam lrt kene berdiri and kene survive terhayun ke kiri ke kanan. Nasib baik dalam lrt tadi ade org putih yang agak hensem.. senyum2 dgn nana.. huhu.. sejuk sket ati yang panas..

Pastu.. boleh lak bos soh consider driving or moving to pj. Elo.. kalau gaji tuh luxury... boleh la aku consider.. tapi dgn gaji seciput yang dapat tuh.. nak soh tinggal kat pj?? Bermimpi la.. nana takmo la tinggal kat reban ayam pulak.. berhimpit2 share bilik kecik and some more kene plak bayar dekat 3rat. I still need to consider my quality of life. Kalau nak betul2 stay in pj.. better rumah nana tuh dekat sungguh dgn office.. meaning, walking distance. Kalau nak kene suruh drive plak.. then minyak and parking need to be considered. Huhuu.. Dalam keadaan sekarang ni.. mmg jauh dari perkataan MAMPU. Mampus.. maybe dekat kot.. ahahahah.... :P

Huhu.. rajinnye nana merepek. Mungkin dah overdose sedut bau bubur babi semalam... sampai keluar dgn bf pon terbawak2 geram tuh. Kesian kat bf... kene la layan sayang punye pasal... betul tak sayang? Hhuhu..:P

GTG... off then..

Geramnye....

Arini... ingat nak balik awal, meaning sharp2 kol 5.30 nak pack up then balik terus.. rupa2nye ade plak meeting pasni... geram betul... huhu.. ingat arini nak gi amik angin kat taman.. gi jog kat tasik ke mlm ni. At least tenang sket ati.. baru planning ajak bf teman jog.. ekceli kalau dia teman.. mesti tak jadik jog.. jalan2 bersiar2 aje.. tapi selagi bf yang meneman.. tak kesah la sgt.. ehehe...

Skrg ni my bos ade depan mata i.. tapi tgk muka dia menyampah sungguh. takleh tgk org senang.

okla.. dah dekat 5.30 pm. huhu.. nak pack up and halau everyone from their seat to meeting room. huhu...

off......

Demam Selsema...

Rase cam dah lama tak update blog kan?? huhuh... Ari ahad arituh... nana demam panas + selsema + batuk + sakit tekak... huhu.. i hate cold + fever. mmg tak ske langsung.. sbb badan sakit2.. kepala pening.. pastu sure mata kabur, tak nampak sgt.. Abis sendi2 badan cam nak tercabut.. huhu.. takde maknenye cuti lama2 tapi kene dok kat katil aje..

Abis sume planing over the long weekend tak menjadi.. nasib baik sempat gi dating ari sabtu. Heheh.. Ekceli ari sabtu tu.. nana gak yang gatal2 makan abc time ari tgh bahang gile.. saje cari penyakit.. huhu.. pastu share plak dgn bf yang memang batuk dan selsema. Such a clever girl.. dont u think so?? hehe.. sendiri cari penyakit.. Malam tuh.. masa nak tgk cite Ong Bak 2, mmg dah ala2 ting-tong.. dah tak larat.. tapi sbb dah beli tiket.. gagah jugak la gi tgk.. huhu.. tapi time movie.. rase ngantuk gile. so.. takde la tgk sgt cite tuh.. tido aje lebih..

Arini gi keje kepala cam pening2.. tak tau le larat tak keje ni. Risau kang lain lak jadiknye.. dah la suara serak2 ni. Anyway.. hidup perlu diteruskan.. Wish me luck today...

Off then..

Sayang...

After 3 years of living with a status of single... kinda awkward when having a boyfren. huhu... Seriously I really feel the differences. Eventually.. there are pros and cons.. but I am enjoying the feelings.

Yesterday nite we were talking over the phone, and talking about marriage. Rase cam pelik gile.. but as my bf said.. "satu hari nanti kene cakap jugak pasal bende ni.." which I never thot i will. Huhu... And the best part is.. I need to wait at least another 3 years for that. Ahahah... Serious lama... Macam2 yang nana pk pasal ni. Macam2 soalan yang timbul. Is it worth waiting?? Yakin ke nana untuk menunggu?? Will he love me still then??

Buat masa ni.. nana mmg sayang my bf so much.. tapi nanti.. boleh ke? Nana jadik kurang yakin dgn diri sendiri, instead of tak percayakan my bf. My bf ingat I tak yakin dgn dia.. What i know now is... I am deeply in love with my bf... maybe that's all that matter.. huhu

Hmm... i baru dgr lagu ni kat Mix.fm tadi... so.. enjoy...

Don't Know Much
(Linda Ronstadt)

Look at this face I know the years are showing.
Look at this life I still don't know where it's going.
I don't know much but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.
Look at these eyes they've never seen what matters.
Look at these dreams so beaten and so battered.
I don't know much but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.

So many questions still left unanswered.
So much I've never broken through.
And when I feel you near me, sometimes I've seen so clearly.
The only truth I've ever known is me and you.
Look at this man so blessed with inspiration.
Look at this soul still searching for salvation.

I don't know much but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.
I don't know much but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.
I don't know much but I know I love you
That may be all there is to know.

:P

What happened yesterday....???

Yesterday, seorang lelaki named G yang nana kenal barely 2 weeks ago said that he likes me, he said he'd fell in love with me.. I was shocked sampai buat keje kat office pon slow gile.. and i dont really think about my work. I was thinking about what he said to me. Otak nana jadik celaru.. It been years back since the last time i heard a guy said "i love u" to me. Kinda creapy.. meremang gak bulu-bulu yang ada di badan... ahahahah

I rase he said it too early.. dia pon rasa camtu gak.. but he said he learned from mistake. Dulu2 dia pernah suka a lady and not telling he likes her. So.. melepas aaa.. heheh.. Nana pon pernah gak camtuh.. but kalau nana nak cakap nana suka kat that guy.. dulu nana akan confess la.. but not now. Skrg ni, nana pon dah belajar dari pengalaman nana sendiri. I will never ever confess first to the guy that i like him or love him. Never...

But, I believe in him. I trusted that he must have give a deep thot before he said that to me kan? I dont think he's trying to play fool with me.. tapi kalau dia brani buat camtuh.. rasenye.. tak lama kot kehidupan dia.. after all that i've been thru.. nana rase nana sampai ati aje nak tanam dia hidup2.. On second thot, maybe bukan idup2 la.. cam tak cukup kejam je.. but i'll make him suffer.. as much as i will suffer jugak.*Syg, if ur reading this.. im sorry but i mean it.*

This is kinda awkward, I am talking about this.. Huhuh... but sumtimes weird things do happens in our life... termasuk la pada diri nana sendiri. New relationship.. new man in my life.. huhu.. kene buka buku baru.. belajar memahami diri dia dan diri sendiri. Kinda hard work for me and for him. Maybe this is consider as a good start in this new year.. what u think? Ok tak?

Rase cam dah panjang cite... owh.. ptg ni nana boleh dapat my car back.. yeay... happy:D
Off then... later....

His name is G...

Mr Man dah jadik history... but selalu org cakap la.. "patah tumbuh hilang berganti" so.. it happens.. nana ingatkan nana akan stay solo sampai at least maybe middle of this year.. tapi tak sangka plak.. kuasa Allah, nana ditemukan dgn sorg lelaki yang lain. Let's call him G. And he is even nicer and much more gentle than Mr Man.*awak.. kalau awak bace jgn perasan ok?*

I met him in the net, evening 4th jan 2009. Ended up meeting each other for dinner the same night. Kinda pelik, tak tau kenapa boleh terbuka hati nak jumpa chatter. Sedangkan nana selalu bagi alasan2 yang nana sendiri rasa tak munasabah to the chatters who asking me out. Maybe kuasa Tuhan, terbuka hati nak berjumpa dgn G.

I was waiting at the bus station, depan taman perumahan i aje. G said he'll meet me there. Tapi.. when he called mase tuh.. bile i nampak dia, hati berbelah bagi.. kawan ni dah depan mata.. cuma dia tak tau i yang mane satu la.. but i donno whether i nak jumpa dia atau tak..What was im thinking at that time?? rasa cam taknak jumpa.. huhu.. sbb dia nampak cam menakutkan.. dari jauh la.. mase tu i rase cam nak lari.. hehehe... tapi bile pk2 balik.. i've made a promise kan? takkan plak i taknak jumpa dia.. dia dah baik2 datang kat area rumah i for my convenience. lagi takmo jumpa... *nana rase skrg ni i've turn into evil.. such a big problem im going into.. hahahah*

So.. lepas jumpa dia tuh.. makan2 kat restaurant area tu jugak.. he seems to be a nice person. Kinda charming but not really a charm. G ni jenis yang senang mesra kot.. atau nana yang talkative and mesra alam sangat.. it seems all those dont really matter now kan?.. heheh
What im trying to say is.. im glad that i met him. At least aras pemikiran dia masih selari la dgn nana.. itu yang penting.. and he accept me the way i am, and i can accept him as he is.. walaupon dia lebih muda sket dari nana.. *erk.. terasa cam meniru trend mawi and ekin plak.. :P*

Anyway... life goes on.. still meeting him.. and starting to like him.. cuma it will take forever kalau dia tak make the first move. Nak harap nana... jangan harap la.. sbb i just wont dare to do it.. skrg ni i dah jadik minah sensitip and fear of rejection. kawan2 tak jadi jumpa utk window shopping pon buleh terasa.. mane datang extra sense of sensitivity ni pon tak tau le... maybe sbb dah tua kot... huhu

okla... rase cam dah panjang sgt cite pasal mamat ni.. kang perasan plak.. if ur reading this dear.. pls jgn kembang.. or jgn marah.. eheh.. im sorry... nanti raya saya minta maaf again..

off then....

Perasaan yang tak terkawal...

Sejak minggu lepas, nana rase cam pelik aje. ade uncertain feelings.. huhu.. hati tak sedap.. tapi still rasa happy. I am not sad.. but i feel uneasy. Hati cam meronta2... macam ada something yang tak lengkap. Ape?? Nana sendiri pon kurang pasti dgn perasaan sendiri.

Hati nana berdebar2... macam ada yang tak kene... teruk la perasaan camni.. nak sort pon tak tau camne.. Kadang2 rasa cam nak terkeluar jantung ni.. sbb berdegup cam cepat sgt.. huhu... I dont want this feeling.. but i kinda enjoying it.. Nana rase cam org gile pon ade gak..

Minggu ni badan nana tak brape sihat. Asyik pening2 and demam sket2. Maybe sbb period kot. Dah jumpa doktor arini, doktor soh datang balik lepas period utk further checking, kene gi scanning. Huhu.. tak suka scanning.. dari dulu camtuh.. takut seh..

Hmmm.... nana dah tak tau ape nak sambung.. nanti sambung lagi.. nak start keje.. pen-off!

Second Thought.... My New Year Resolution

Ahahahah....!!!!... I still feel like laughing when i read about my very own great resolution that i am going to start this year... i never consider myself getting married. ME??? It feels like dreaming.. wahahaha.... I feel like its tickling my stomach every time i think about it. Tak boleh tahan la...

Anyway... on second thot.. pasal kawin ni.. sbb bukan leh main pakse2.. i remember one of my colleague dulu, her new year resolution is to get married by the end of the year.. huhu.. such a brave move eventho she ended up tak kawin2 sampai skrg. And the best part.. she is still standing strong!!! How did she did that? How did she mend her own feelings? I think i will ask her la nanti bile i jumpa dia.. Tapi for me la.. masalahnye.. kalau desperately wanna get married in the same year.. i am very afraid that i will get myself into a very huge dissapointment. huhu.. Bukan senang seh nak cari life partner. Takut pon ade gak.

So... I decided pasal married thingy ni.. i just let it be aje la.. No specific due date. Kalau ade jodoh... InsyaAllah.. ade la.. yang i boleh buat is to put some effort into the matter. Huhuh.. Nak buka hati untuk kenal lelaki yang kite totally tak kenal or kenal macam tak kenal.. nak buka buku baru.. time and effort.. huhu... i cuma ade 1 word aje for this... M.A.L.A.S..... hahahahahah!!!!


Hm... mengeluh pon tak guna gak.. jadi baikle i doa kat Allah so i that i akan bertemu jodoh... Amin...

Doa Mempermudahkan Jodoh

Dengan nama ALLAH yang Maha Pengasih, lagi Maha Penyayang, Ya TUHAN-ku, aku akui Kekuasaan-Mu, Nikmat lagi rahmat, buat diriku tak terbalas olehku, ya ALLAH.

Ya TUHAN-ku, hamba-Mu ini mensyukuri, rahmat yang Kau beri, umpama rezeki, melimpah-ruah, ya ALLAH.. Alhamdulillah..

Dengan rahmat-MU, Ya ALLAH, KAU pertemukan kami, maka, satukanlah hati kami, titipkanlah rindu antara kami, mekarkanlah cinta antara kami.

Lantas , peliharalah kami ya ALLAH, dari bisikan iblis yang datang menggoda, agar kami sentiasa teguh dalam syariat agama.

Ya RAHIM, permudahkanlah jalan jodoh kami, serta dipermurahkan rezeki kami. Jadikanlah kami antara pasangan yang bersyukur.

Dengan rahmat-MU, ya ALLAH, lagi, sinarilah hati kami, dengan nur iman yang begermelapan, agar kami tidak hanyut, dengan godaan dunia, yang hanya pinjaman semata.

Amin, amin. YA RABBIL A'LAMIN...

This New Year...

Not a very good start..... Rasenye cam malang yang bertimpa2... bak kate my fren... "Ni sume dugaan Allah nak bagi sekarang.. nanti maybe akan ade something better waiting in the future.." huhuh.. what a positive thot?? tapi tak tau le kenape... hati cam tenang menerima dugaan yang datang. nana percaya yang Allah tu sentiasa Maha Adil dan Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang.. i just need to look for the bright side... dalam kesusahan sekarang ni.. mungkin nana akan jumpa kekuatan diri nana yang sebenarnye.. something yang nana tak nampak and tak jumpa.. Maybe....

Resolution... ape yang tak dapat achieve tahun lepas akan di"bring forward" ke tahun ni.. and tahun ni punye resolution pon cam leh tahan gak byknye.. but i finally find something new.. a mission yang rasenye takkan berpenghujung.. "I WANNA GET MARRIED". lepas kejadian eksiden kete 1.1.2009 tuh, i realized that i need a companion. a man who is caring enuf for me.. be there for me.. at least time eksiden camtuh.. and know how to settle the problem.. of course la kan.. kalau tak, what's the point of this whole story??*macam budak2 pon ade gak rasenye.. but mase tuh la rase cam kadang2 kawan2 pon takleh nak rely bile ade masalah camni*

Wishes.... rasenye tak lambat lagi kot for me to wish all of you.. a happy new year.. nana doakan kite sume akan lebih berjaya lagi dari tahun2 yang sebelumnye... Amin..:P

Jumaat yang mendung....

Hari ni... again... i have to replace my dearest mulut tempayan receptionist kat front counter sbb dia mc... demam lepas krismas kot... huhu.. (*macam la sambut krismas*) tau la esok cuti.. i baru ingat nak minta maaf dgn dia arini pasal mengumpat dia before this and cakap buruk pasal dia.. but i've change my mind... tak jadik la kot.. ahahaha... lagipon lepas i cakap pasal her blog entry.. dia tak buat pape pon... saje je cari nahas.. sometimes.. bile nampak dia pon rase cam nak salai2 aje.. biar lemak2 dalam badan dia tuh kurang sket... (*not to say yang nana ni takde lemak or in other word - kurus- but she is worst.. hahahahaha*)

Okayla... just drop topic about her.. buang masa je cerita2 pasal dia.. huhu.. rasenye nak cite pasal ape lak ek... hmmm....

Owh.. smlm pagi.. nana pergi jogging at Tmn Metropolitan Kepong. Tempat main layang2 yang agak famous tu.. tapi nana pergi pagi la.. ptg ramai sgt org.. pagi pon lebih kurang aje.. Tasik dia besar.. Once nana ajak my fren jog kat sane.. ekceli we were walking aje.. 2 rounds. Dia dah give-up pon gi sane.. dia kate dia dah lama tak bersenam and tasik tu besar sangat.. dia tak larat.. dia kate slow2 dulu.. so dia nak gi tasik kecik sket.. which is titiwangsa. I dont really like titiwangsa.. bukan la ape.. byk sgt mat rempit and mat tebeng. tu lom kire lagi yang berdating berkepit like nobody's business kat area tuh.. adeh... mmg menyakitkan mata.. hati pon sakit le jugak kot.. ye la kan.. nana mane ade special or steady bf.. so... mmg le pedih aje mata kan? Ekceli.. bile pk2 pon... bukan la nak kate jeles.. tapi berkepit tak tentu arah.. tak pk org keliling ke? malu la.. huhu.. bukanla nana tak penah bercinta.. but i dare not do that infront of makcik2 and pakcik2 yang jalan2 kat taman tu.. hormat la sket.. huhu.. lagi buat malu.. islam melayu plak tuh.. siap bertudung litup bagai.. buat malu agama + bangsa aje...

Lepas balik joging smlm.. i was so bored. so.. nana tgk la tv.. sbb rumah takde astro.. so.. tgk aje la cite yang ade.. sambil sembang2 dgn my mother and sis, sambil tangan tu gatal aje ber'sms' dgn kawan yang ade. So.. i sms Mr Man. Just tanya kabar aje.. and his reply cam buat i rase pelik and kelakar. Dia cakap dia keje yesterday, he said he's sorry sbb xsms or xanswer my call. dia cakap many things happened lately and he dont wanna dissapoint me or make me hope. Ekceli.. i dont really understand.. hope and dissapointment? 2 bende yang i dont really think about rite now.. and not for this next 2-3 years kot. I got my own agenda.. and it is huge. hope and dissapointment towards my plan.. yes.. i have and i did expected.. but for him.. huhu.. pls Mr Man.. i love u being around but to hope for your love.. it was a miracle if it's happen. Macam bulan jatuh ke riba... but i dont wish for the moon to fall on my lap.. it would be a disaster... dont u think so??

Kecewa? mungkin la.. dgn kata2 Mr Man yang camtuh.. nana cuma harap kami leh jadik kawan baik.. really good frens, good companions and good buddies. I dont really hope for love relationship or marriage. at least not now or before my age is 30. huhu... maybe masa tu dah kertu kot... but what ever la.. just live the life to the fullest.. we never know what will happen in the future kan?

So... mendung2 ni... lepas makan sebungkus nasi lemak.. rase nak tido la plak.. kan best kalau leh tido skrg.. huhu.. cuti2 dok umah bawah comforter.. huhu.. best seh... i wish i could do that now.. ahahahah i wish... i wish...

dot... dot... dot... fullstop!

cerita ikut sedap mulut...

Tadi secara tak sengaja i terbaca one of the colleague punye blog... dan dgn sesedap rase aje.. dia bercerita pasal nana in her blog. ekceli tak kisah la nak cite.. tapi jgn le sampai letak nama betul and cerita details. macam la diri sendiri tu bagus sgt nak mengumpat pasal org lain..

I dont really give a damn thing la about what she wanna say about me.. but telling the whole world negative things about me.. yang dia tau cuma like 1 or 2 percent of the story.. it will eventually reflect our own selves kan?.. for me.. she already become mulut tempayan.. and i need to watch out everytime im talking to her. Lepas ni no more saying things unappropriately. Harap muka aje cantik comel.. tapi mulut cam bontot ayam.(*huhu... kenapa mulut i jahat sgt today?? Marah sgt ke??)

Harini mmg agak panas. Hati yang panas.. tak tau le camne ni... bile hati panas.. perut plak sakit.. huhu.. camne? camne? camne? rase cam nak menjerit plak.. and sbb incidently terbaca blog dia.. wat lagi la hati ni panas. I taknak cite buruk pasal org lain la... tapi she does pissed me off. tak penah lagi i jumpa betina mulut cabul and sebesar tempayan cam dia. maybe i dah misjudged her in the first place.(*kenapa i still nak blamed myself..???)

Hmm.... what to do..?? takkan la plak i nak sound dia depan2 sdgkn it was my fault yang gatal pegi baca blog dia pasal..?? and maybe salah i sbb gi cite pasal my past to her, which she thot was a good topic for her blog entry. Life is always a pain in the ass tapi it depends on own self to make it better kan? I think now i dont know her oredy and i've learned my lesson. never trust new fren eventho she or he looks very nice and petite. huhu... my fault.. i have to swallow this mistake... :((

Okay la... cakap byk2 buat sakit hati and buat tambah sakit lain plak jap lagi.. better i pen-off... Merry Christmas.....

Hey man...

Hey man..
I have no idea what I'm thinking now..
But I wish u know about it too..
I hope u are fine today..
As I care for u deep down in my heart..

Hey man..
I wish I can say this straight to ur face..
How much I miss u..
How much I love u..
But I doubt u feel the same..
Whenever I meet u..
Seeing the way u look at me..
I'll stunned like a stone..
Your smiles washed my doubt away..

Hey man..
U have no idea of what I wish for..
But I hope one day u'll know..
Hope that one day my wish will be true..
For us to be together forever..

P/S:
this is for Mr Man who never know about the existence of this blog... hahah..
wish u well fren.. cepat2 baik selsema tuh...:)