After 3 years of living with a status of single... kinda awkward when having a boyfren. huhu... Seriously I really feel the differences. Eventually.. there are pros and cons.. but I am enjoying the feelings.
Yesterday nite we were talking over the phone, and talking about marriage. Rase cam pelik gile.. but as my bf said.. "satu hari nanti kene cakap jugak pasal bende ni.." which I never thot i will. Huhu... And the best part is.. I need to wait at least another 3 years for that. Ahahah... Serious lama... Macam2 yang nana pk pasal ni. Macam2 soalan yang timbul. Is it worth waiting?? Yakin ke nana untuk menunggu?? Will he love me still then??
Buat masa ni.. nana mmg sayang my bf so much.. tapi nanti.. boleh ke? Nana jadik kurang yakin dgn diri sendiri, instead of tak percayakan my bf. My bf ingat I tak yakin dgn dia.. What i know now is... I am deeply in love with my bf... maybe that's all that matter.. huhu
Hmm... i baru dgr lagu ni kat Mix.fm tadi... so.. enjoy...
Don't Know Much
(Linda Ronstadt)
Look at this face I know the years are showing.
Look at this life I still don't know where it's going.
I don't know much but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.
Look at these eyes they've never seen what matters.
Look at these dreams so beaten and so battered.
I don't know much but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.
So many questions still left unanswered.
So much I've never broken through.
And when I feel you near me, sometimes I've seen so clearly.
The only truth I've ever known is me and you.
Look at this man so blessed with inspiration.
Look at this soul still searching for salvation.
I don't know much but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.
I don't know much but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.
I don't know much but I know I love you
That may be all there is to know.
:P
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
What happened yesterday....???
Yesterday, seorang lelaki named G yang nana kenal barely 2 weeks ago said that he likes me, he said he'd fell in love with me.. I was shocked sampai buat keje kat office pon slow gile.. and i dont really think about my work. I was thinking about what he said to me. Otak nana jadik celaru.. It been years back since the last time i heard a guy said "i love u" to me. Kinda creapy.. meremang gak bulu-bulu yang ada di badan... ahahahah
I rase he said it too early.. dia pon rasa camtu gak.. but he said he learned from mistake. Dulu2 dia pernah suka a lady and not telling he likes her. So.. melepas aaa.. heheh.. Nana pon pernah gak camtuh.. but kalau nana nak cakap nana suka kat that guy.. dulu nana akan confess la.. but not now. Skrg ni, nana pon dah belajar dari pengalaman nana sendiri. I will never ever confess first to the guy that i like him or love him. Never...
But, I believe in him. I trusted that he must have give a deep thot before he said that to me kan? I dont think he's trying to play fool with me.. tapi kalau dia brani buat camtuh.. rasenye.. tak lama kot kehidupan dia.. after all that i've been thru.. nana rase nana sampai ati aje nak tanam dia hidup2.. On second thot, maybe bukan idup2 la.. cam tak cukup kejam je.. but i'll make him suffer.. as much as i will suffer jugak.*Syg, if ur reading this.. im sorry but i mean it.*
This is kinda awkward, I am talking about this.. Huhuh... but sumtimes weird things do happens in our life... termasuk la pada diri nana sendiri. New relationship.. new man in my life.. huhu.. kene buka buku baru.. belajar memahami diri dia dan diri sendiri. Kinda hard work for me and for him. Maybe this is consider as a good start in this new year.. what u think? Ok tak?
Rase cam dah panjang cite... owh.. ptg ni nana boleh dapat my car back.. yeay... happy:D
Off then... later....
I rase he said it too early.. dia pon rasa camtu gak.. but he said he learned from mistake. Dulu2 dia pernah suka a lady and not telling he likes her. So.. melepas aaa.. heheh.. Nana pon pernah gak camtuh.. but kalau nana nak cakap nana suka kat that guy.. dulu nana akan confess la.. but not now. Skrg ni, nana pon dah belajar dari pengalaman nana sendiri. I will never ever confess first to the guy that i like him or love him. Never...
But, I believe in him. I trusted that he must have give a deep thot before he said that to me kan? I dont think he's trying to play fool with me.. tapi kalau dia brani buat camtuh.. rasenye.. tak lama kot kehidupan dia.. after all that i've been thru.. nana rase nana sampai ati aje nak tanam dia hidup2.. On second thot, maybe bukan idup2 la.. cam tak cukup kejam je.. but i'll make him suffer.. as much as i will suffer jugak.*Syg, if ur reading this.. im sorry but i mean it.*
This is kinda awkward, I am talking about this.. Huhuh... but sumtimes weird things do happens in our life... termasuk la pada diri nana sendiri. New relationship.. new man in my life.. huhu.. kene buka buku baru.. belajar memahami diri dia dan diri sendiri. Kinda hard work for me and for him. Maybe this is consider as a good start in this new year.. what u think? Ok tak?
Rase cam dah panjang cite... owh.. ptg ni nana boleh dapat my car back.. yeay... happy:D
Off then... later....
Monday, January 19, 2009
His name is G...
Mr Man dah jadik history... but selalu org cakap la.. "patah tumbuh hilang berganti" so.. it happens.. nana ingatkan nana akan stay solo sampai at least maybe middle of this year.. tapi tak sangka plak.. kuasa Allah, nana ditemukan dgn sorg lelaki yang lain. Let's call him G. And he is even nicer and much more gentle than Mr Man.*awak.. kalau awak bace jgn perasan ok?*
I met him in the net, evening 4th jan 2009. Ended up meeting each other for dinner the same night. Kinda pelik, tak tau kenapa boleh terbuka hati nak jumpa chatter. Sedangkan nana selalu bagi alasan2 yang nana sendiri rasa tak munasabah to the chatters who asking me out. Maybe kuasa Tuhan, terbuka hati nak berjumpa dgn G.
I was waiting at the bus station, depan taman perumahan i aje. G said he'll meet me there. Tapi.. when he called mase tuh.. bile i nampak dia, hati berbelah bagi.. kawan ni dah depan mata.. cuma dia tak tau i yang mane satu la.. but i donno whether i nak jumpa dia atau tak..What was im thinking at that time?? rasa cam taknak jumpa.. huhu.. sbb dia nampak cam menakutkan.. dari jauh la.. mase tu i rase cam nak lari.. hehehe... tapi bile pk2 balik.. i've made a promise kan? takkan plak i taknak jumpa dia.. dia dah baik2 datang kat area rumah i for my convenience. lagi takmo jumpa... *nana rase skrg ni i've turn into evil.. such a big problem im going into.. hahahah*
So.. lepas jumpa dia tuh.. makan2 kat restaurant area tu jugak.. he seems to be a nice person. Kinda charming but not really a charm. G ni jenis yang senang mesra kot.. atau nana yang talkative and mesra alam sangat.. it seems all those dont really matter now kan?.. heheh
What im trying to say is.. im glad that i met him. At least aras pemikiran dia masih selari la dgn nana.. itu yang penting.. and he accept me the way i am, and i can accept him as he is.. walaupon dia lebih muda sket dari nana.. *erk.. terasa cam meniru trend mawi and ekin plak.. :P*
Anyway... life goes on.. still meeting him.. and starting to like him.. cuma it will take forever kalau dia tak make the first move. Nak harap nana... jangan harap la.. sbb i just wont dare to do it.. skrg ni i dah jadik minah sensitip and fear of rejection. kawan2 tak jadi jumpa utk window shopping pon buleh terasa.. mane datang extra sense of sensitivity ni pon tak tau le... maybe sbb dah tua kot... huhu
okla... rase cam dah panjang sgt cite pasal mamat ni.. kang perasan plak.. if ur reading this dear.. pls jgn kembang.. or jgn marah.. eheh.. im sorry... nanti raya saya minta maaf again..
off then....
I met him in the net, evening 4th jan 2009. Ended up meeting each other for dinner the same night. Kinda pelik, tak tau kenapa boleh terbuka hati nak jumpa chatter. Sedangkan nana selalu bagi alasan2 yang nana sendiri rasa tak munasabah to the chatters who asking me out. Maybe kuasa Tuhan, terbuka hati nak berjumpa dgn G.
I was waiting at the bus station, depan taman perumahan i aje. G said he'll meet me there. Tapi.. when he called mase tuh.. bile i nampak dia, hati berbelah bagi.. kawan ni dah depan mata.. cuma dia tak tau i yang mane satu la.. but i donno whether i nak jumpa dia atau tak..What was im thinking at that time?? rasa cam taknak jumpa.. huhu.. sbb dia nampak cam menakutkan.. dari jauh la.. mase tu i rase cam nak lari.. hehehe... tapi bile pk2 balik.. i've made a promise kan? takkan plak i taknak jumpa dia.. dia dah baik2 datang kat area rumah i for my convenience. lagi takmo jumpa... *nana rase skrg ni i've turn into evil.. such a big problem im going into.. hahahah*
So.. lepas jumpa dia tuh.. makan2 kat restaurant area tu jugak.. he seems to be a nice person. Kinda charming but not really a charm. G ni jenis yang senang mesra kot.. atau nana yang talkative and mesra alam sangat.. it seems all those dont really matter now kan?.. heheh
What im trying to say is.. im glad that i met him. At least aras pemikiran dia masih selari la dgn nana.. itu yang penting.. and he accept me the way i am, and i can accept him as he is.. walaupon dia lebih muda sket dari nana.. *erk.. terasa cam meniru trend mawi and ekin plak.. :P*
Anyway... life goes on.. still meeting him.. and starting to like him.. cuma it will take forever kalau dia tak make the first move. Nak harap nana... jangan harap la.. sbb i just wont dare to do it.. skrg ni i dah jadik minah sensitip and fear of rejection. kawan2 tak jadi jumpa utk window shopping pon buleh terasa.. mane datang extra sense of sensitivity ni pon tak tau le... maybe sbb dah tua kot... huhu
okla... rase cam dah panjang sgt cite pasal mamat ni.. kang perasan plak.. if ur reading this dear.. pls jgn kembang.. or jgn marah.. eheh.. im sorry... nanti raya saya minta maaf again..
off then....
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Perasaan yang tak terkawal...
Sejak minggu lepas, nana rase cam pelik aje. ade uncertain feelings.. huhu.. hati tak sedap.. tapi still rasa happy. I am not sad.. but i feel uneasy. Hati cam meronta2... macam ada something yang tak lengkap. Ape?? Nana sendiri pon kurang pasti dgn perasaan sendiri.
Hati nana berdebar2... macam ada yang tak kene... teruk la perasaan camni.. nak sort pon tak tau camne.. Kadang2 rasa cam nak terkeluar jantung ni.. sbb berdegup cam cepat sgt.. huhu... I dont want this feeling.. but i kinda enjoying it.. Nana rase cam org gile pon ade gak..
Minggu ni badan nana tak brape sihat. Asyik pening2 and demam sket2. Maybe sbb period kot. Dah jumpa doktor arini, doktor soh datang balik lepas period utk further checking, kene gi scanning. Huhu.. tak suka scanning.. dari dulu camtuh.. takut seh..
Hmmm.... nana dah tak tau ape nak sambung.. nanti sambung lagi.. nak start keje.. pen-off!
Hati nana berdebar2... macam ada yang tak kene... teruk la perasaan camni.. nak sort pon tak tau camne.. Kadang2 rasa cam nak terkeluar jantung ni.. sbb berdegup cam cepat sgt.. huhu... I dont want this feeling.. but i kinda enjoying it.. Nana rase cam org gile pon ade gak..
Minggu ni badan nana tak brape sihat. Asyik pening2 and demam sket2. Maybe sbb period kot. Dah jumpa doktor arini, doktor soh datang balik lepas period utk further checking, kene gi scanning. Huhu.. tak suka scanning.. dari dulu camtuh.. takut seh..
Hmmm.... nana dah tak tau ape nak sambung.. nanti sambung lagi.. nak start keje.. pen-off!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Second Thought.... My New Year Resolution
Ahahahah....!!!!... I still feel like laughing when i read about my very own great resolution that i am going to start this year... i never consider myself getting married. ME??? It feels like dreaming.. wahahaha.... I feel like its tickling my stomach every time i think about it. Tak boleh tahan la...
Anyway... on second thot.. pasal kawin ni.. sbb bukan leh main pakse2.. i remember one of my colleague dulu, her new year resolution is to get married by the end of the year.. huhu.. such a brave move eventho she ended up tak kawin2 sampai skrg. And the best part.. she is still standing strong!!! How did she did that? How did she mend her own feelings? I think i will ask her la nanti bile i jumpa dia.. Tapi for me la.. masalahnye.. kalau desperately wanna get married in the same year.. i am very afraid that i will get myself into a very huge dissapointment. huhu.. Bukan senang seh nak cari life partner. Takut pon ade gak.
So... I decided pasal married thingy ni.. i just let it be aje la.. No specific due date. Kalau ade jodoh... InsyaAllah.. ade la.. yang i boleh buat is to put some effort into the matter. Huhuh.. Nak buka hati untuk kenal lelaki yang kite totally tak kenal or kenal macam tak kenal.. nak buka buku baru.. time and effort.. huhu... i cuma ade 1 word aje for this... M.A.L.A.S..... hahahahahah!!!!
Hm... mengeluh pon tak guna gak.. jadi baikle i doa kat Allah so i that i akan bertemu jodoh... Amin...
Anyway... on second thot.. pasal kawin ni.. sbb bukan leh main pakse2.. i remember one of my colleague dulu, her new year resolution is to get married by the end of the year.. huhu.. such a brave move eventho she ended up tak kawin2 sampai skrg. And the best part.. she is still standing strong!!! How did she did that? How did she mend her own feelings? I think i will ask her la nanti bile i jumpa dia.. Tapi for me la.. masalahnye.. kalau desperately wanna get married in the same year.. i am very afraid that i will get myself into a very huge dissapointment. huhu.. Bukan senang seh nak cari life partner. Takut pon ade gak.
So... I decided pasal married thingy ni.. i just let it be aje la.. No specific due date. Kalau ade jodoh... InsyaAllah.. ade la.. yang i boleh buat is to put some effort into the matter. Huhuh.. Nak buka hati untuk kenal lelaki yang kite totally tak kenal or kenal macam tak kenal.. nak buka buku baru.. time and effort.. huhu... i cuma ade 1 word aje for this... M.A.L.A.S..... hahahahahah!!!!
Hm... mengeluh pon tak guna gak.. jadi baikle i doa kat Allah so i that i akan bertemu jodoh... Amin...
Doa Mempermudahkan Jodoh
Dengan nama ALLAH yang Maha Pengasih, lagi Maha Penyayang, Ya TUHAN-ku, aku akui Kekuasaan-Mu, Nikmat lagi rahmat, buat diriku tak terbalas olehku, ya ALLAH.
Ya TUHAN-ku, hamba-Mu ini mensyukuri, rahmat yang Kau beri, umpama rezeki, melimpah-ruah, ya ALLAH.. Alhamdulillah..
Dengan rahmat-MU, Ya ALLAH, KAU pertemukan kami, maka, satukanlah hati kami, titipkanlah rindu antara kami, mekarkanlah cinta antara kami.
Lantas , peliharalah kami ya ALLAH, dari bisikan iblis yang datang menggoda, agar kami sentiasa teguh dalam syariat agama.
Ya RAHIM, permudahkanlah jalan jodoh kami, serta dipermurahkan rezeki kami. Jadikanlah kami antara pasangan yang bersyukur.
Dengan rahmat-MU, ya ALLAH, lagi, sinarilah hati kami, dengan nur iman yang begermelapan, agar kami tidak hanyut, dengan godaan dunia, yang hanya pinjaman semata.
Amin, amin. YA RABBIL A'LAMIN...
Sunday, January 4, 2009
This New Year...
Not a very good start..... Rasenye cam malang yang bertimpa2... bak kate my fren... "Ni sume dugaan Allah nak bagi sekarang.. nanti maybe akan ade something better waiting in the future.." huhuh.. what a positive thot?? tapi tak tau le kenape... hati cam tenang menerima dugaan yang datang. nana percaya yang Allah tu sentiasa Maha Adil dan Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang.. i just need to look for the bright side... dalam kesusahan sekarang ni.. mungkin nana akan jumpa kekuatan diri nana yang sebenarnye.. something yang nana tak nampak and tak jumpa.. Maybe....
Resolution... ape yang tak dapat achieve tahun lepas akan di"bring forward" ke tahun ni.. and tahun ni punye resolution pon cam leh tahan gak byknye.. but i finally find something new.. a mission yang rasenye takkan berpenghujung.. "I WANNA GET MARRIED". lepas kejadian eksiden kete 1.1.2009 tuh, i realized that i need a companion. a man who is caring enuf for me.. be there for me.. at least time eksiden camtuh.. and know how to settle the problem.. of course la kan.. kalau tak, what's the point of this whole story??*macam budak2 pon ade gak rasenye.. but mase tuh la rase cam kadang2 kawan2 pon takleh nak rely bile ade masalah camni*
Wishes.... rasenye tak lambat lagi kot for me to wish all of you.. a happy new year.. nana doakan kite sume akan lebih berjaya lagi dari tahun2 yang sebelumnye... Amin..:P
Resolution... ape yang tak dapat achieve tahun lepas akan di"bring forward" ke tahun ni.. and tahun ni punye resolution pon cam leh tahan gak byknye.. but i finally find something new.. a mission yang rasenye takkan berpenghujung.. "I WANNA GET MARRIED". lepas kejadian eksiden kete 1.1.2009 tuh, i realized that i need a companion. a man who is caring enuf for me.. be there for me.. at least time eksiden camtuh.. and know how to settle the problem.. of course la kan.. kalau tak, what's the point of this whole story??*macam budak2 pon ade gak rasenye.. but mase tuh la rase cam kadang2 kawan2 pon takleh nak rely bile ade masalah camni*
Wishes.... rasenye tak lambat lagi kot for me to wish all of you.. a happy new year.. nana doakan kite sume akan lebih berjaya lagi dari tahun2 yang sebelumnye... Amin..:P
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