Thursday, January 29, 2009
Sayang...
Yesterday nite we were talking over the phone, and talking about marriage. Rase cam pelik gile.. but as my bf said.. "satu hari nanti kene cakap jugak pasal bende ni.." which I never thot i will. Huhu... And the best part is.. I need to wait at least another 3 years for that. Ahahah... Serious lama... Macam2 yang nana pk pasal ni. Macam2 soalan yang timbul. Is it worth waiting?? Yakin ke nana untuk menunggu?? Will he love me still then??
Buat masa ni.. nana mmg sayang my bf so much.. tapi nanti.. boleh ke? Nana jadik kurang yakin dgn diri sendiri, instead of tak percayakan my bf. My bf ingat I tak yakin dgn dia.. What i know now is... I am deeply in love with my bf... maybe that's all that matter.. huhu
Hmm... i baru dgr lagu ni kat Mix.fm tadi... so.. enjoy...
Don't Know Much
(Linda Ronstadt)
Look at this face I know the years are showing.
Look at this life I still don't know where it's going.
I don't know much but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.
Look at these eyes they've never seen what matters.
Look at these dreams so beaten and so battered.
I don't know much but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.
So many questions still left unanswered.
So much I've never broken through.
And when I feel you near me, sometimes I've seen so clearly.
The only truth I've ever known is me and you.
Look at this man so blessed with inspiration.
Look at this soul still searching for salvation.
I don't know much but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.
I don't know much but I know I love you.
That may be all I need to know.
I don't know much but I know I love you
That may be all there is to know.
:P
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
What happened yesterday....???
I rase he said it too early.. dia pon rasa camtu gak.. but he said he learned from mistake. Dulu2 dia pernah suka a lady and not telling he likes her. So.. melepas aaa.. heheh.. Nana pon pernah gak camtuh.. but kalau nana nak cakap nana suka kat that guy.. dulu nana akan confess la.. but not now. Skrg ni, nana pon dah belajar dari pengalaman nana sendiri. I will never ever confess first to the guy that i like him or love him. Never...
But, I believe in him. I trusted that he must have give a deep thot before he said that to me kan? I dont think he's trying to play fool with me.. tapi kalau dia brani buat camtuh.. rasenye.. tak lama kot kehidupan dia.. after all that i've been thru.. nana rase nana sampai ati aje nak tanam dia hidup2.. On second thot, maybe bukan idup2 la.. cam tak cukup kejam je.. but i'll make him suffer.. as much as i will suffer jugak.*Syg, if ur reading this.. im sorry but i mean it.*
This is kinda awkward, I am talking about this.. Huhuh... but sumtimes weird things do happens in our life... termasuk la pada diri nana sendiri. New relationship.. new man in my life.. huhu.. kene buka buku baru.. belajar memahami diri dia dan diri sendiri. Kinda hard work for me and for him. Maybe this is consider as a good start in this new year.. what u think? Ok tak?
Rase cam dah panjang cite... owh.. ptg ni nana boleh dapat my car back.. yeay... happy:D
Off then... later....
Monday, January 19, 2009
His name is G...
I met him in the net, evening 4th jan 2009. Ended up meeting each other for dinner the same night. Kinda pelik, tak tau kenapa boleh terbuka hati nak jumpa chatter. Sedangkan nana selalu bagi alasan2 yang nana sendiri rasa tak munasabah to the chatters who asking me out. Maybe kuasa Tuhan, terbuka hati nak berjumpa dgn G.
I was waiting at the bus station, depan taman perumahan i aje. G said he'll meet me there. Tapi.. when he called mase tuh.. bile i nampak dia, hati berbelah bagi.. kawan ni dah depan mata.. cuma dia tak tau i yang mane satu la.. but i donno whether i nak jumpa dia atau tak..What was im thinking at that time?? rasa cam taknak jumpa.. huhu.. sbb dia nampak cam menakutkan.. dari jauh la.. mase tu i rase cam nak lari.. hehehe... tapi bile pk2 balik.. i've made a promise kan? takkan plak i taknak jumpa dia.. dia dah baik2 datang kat area rumah i for my convenience. lagi takmo jumpa... *nana rase skrg ni i've turn into evil.. such a big problem im going into.. hahahah*
So.. lepas jumpa dia tuh.. makan2 kat restaurant area tu jugak.. he seems to be a nice person. Kinda charming but not really a charm. G ni jenis yang senang mesra kot.. atau nana yang talkative and mesra alam sangat.. it seems all those dont really matter now kan?.. heheh
What im trying to say is.. im glad that i met him. At least aras pemikiran dia masih selari la dgn nana.. itu yang penting.. and he accept me the way i am, and i can accept him as he is.. walaupon dia lebih muda sket dari nana.. *erk.. terasa cam meniru trend mawi and ekin plak.. :P*
Anyway... life goes on.. still meeting him.. and starting to like him.. cuma it will take forever kalau dia tak make the first move. Nak harap nana... jangan harap la.. sbb i just wont dare to do it.. skrg ni i dah jadik minah sensitip and fear of rejection. kawan2 tak jadi jumpa utk window shopping pon buleh terasa.. mane datang extra sense of sensitivity ni pon tak tau le... maybe sbb dah tua kot... huhu
okla... rase cam dah panjang sgt cite pasal mamat ni.. kang perasan plak.. if ur reading this dear.. pls jgn kembang.. or jgn marah.. eheh.. im sorry... nanti raya saya minta maaf again..
off then....
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Perasaan yang tak terkawal...
Hati nana berdebar2... macam ada yang tak kene... teruk la perasaan camni.. nak sort pon tak tau camne.. Kadang2 rasa cam nak terkeluar jantung ni.. sbb berdegup cam cepat sgt.. huhu... I dont want this feeling.. but i kinda enjoying it.. Nana rase cam org gile pon ade gak..
Minggu ni badan nana tak brape sihat. Asyik pening2 and demam sket2. Maybe sbb period kot. Dah jumpa doktor arini, doktor soh datang balik lepas period utk further checking, kene gi scanning. Huhu.. tak suka scanning.. dari dulu camtuh.. takut seh..
Hmmm.... nana dah tak tau ape nak sambung.. nanti sambung lagi.. nak start keje.. pen-off!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Second Thought.... My New Year Resolution
Anyway... on second thot.. pasal kawin ni.. sbb bukan leh main pakse2.. i remember one of my colleague dulu, her new year resolution is to get married by the end of the year.. huhu.. such a brave move eventho she ended up tak kawin2 sampai skrg. And the best part.. she is still standing strong!!! How did she did that? How did she mend her own feelings? I think i will ask her la nanti bile i jumpa dia.. Tapi for me la.. masalahnye.. kalau desperately wanna get married in the same year.. i am very afraid that i will get myself into a very huge dissapointment. huhu.. Bukan senang seh nak cari life partner. Takut pon ade gak.
So... I decided pasal married thingy ni.. i just let it be aje la.. No specific due date. Kalau ade jodoh... InsyaAllah.. ade la.. yang i boleh buat is to put some effort into the matter. Huhuh.. Nak buka hati untuk kenal lelaki yang kite totally tak kenal or kenal macam tak kenal.. nak buka buku baru.. time and effort.. huhu... i cuma ade 1 word aje for this... M.A.L.A.S..... hahahahahah!!!!
Hm... mengeluh pon tak guna gak.. jadi baikle i doa kat Allah so i that i akan bertemu jodoh... Amin...
Doa Mempermudahkan Jodoh
Dengan nama ALLAH yang Maha Pengasih, lagi Maha Penyayang, Ya TUHAN-ku, aku akui Kekuasaan-Mu, Nikmat lagi rahmat, buat diriku tak terbalas olehku, ya ALLAH.
Ya TUHAN-ku, hamba-Mu ini mensyukuri, rahmat yang Kau beri, umpama rezeki, melimpah-ruah, ya ALLAH.. Alhamdulillah..
Dengan rahmat-MU, Ya ALLAH, KAU pertemukan kami, maka, satukanlah hati kami, titipkanlah rindu antara kami, mekarkanlah cinta antara kami.
Lantas , peliharalah kami ya ALLAH, dari bisikan iblis yang datang menggoda, agar kami sentiasa teguh dalam syariat agama.
Ya RAHIM, permudahkanlah jalan jodoh kami, serta dipermurahkan rezeki kami. Jadikanlah kami antara pasangan yang bersyukur.
Dengan rahmat-MU, ya ALLAH, lagi, sinarilah hati kami, dengan nur iman yang begermelapan, agar kami tidak hanyut, dengan godaan dunia, yang hanya pinjaman semata.
Amin, amin. YA RABBIL A'LAMIN...
Sunday, January 4, 2009
This New Year...
Resolution... ape yang tak dapat achieve tahun lepas akan di"bring forward" ke tahun ni.. and tahun ni punye resolution pon cam leh tahan gak byknye.. but i finally find something new.. a mission yang rasenye takkan berpenghujung.. "I WANNA GET MARRIED". lepas kejadian eksiden kete 1.1.2009 tuh, i realized that i need a companion. a man who is caring enuf for me.. be there for me.. at least time eksiden camtuh.. and know how to settle the problem.. of course la kan.. kalau tak, what's the point of this whole story??*macam budak2 pon ade gak rasenye.. but mase tuh la rase cam kadang2 kawan2 pon takleh nak rely bile ade masalah camni*
Wishes.... rasenye tak lambat lagi kot for me to wish all of you.. a happy new year.. nana doakan kite sume akan lebih berjaya lagi dari tahun2 yang sebelumnye... Amin..:P

Friday, December 26, 2008
Jumaat yang mendung....
Okayla... just drop topic about her.. buang masa je cerita2 pasal dia.. huhu.. rasenye nak cite pasal ape lak ek... hmmm....
Owh.. smlm pagi.. nana pergi jogging at Tmn Metropolitan Kepong. Tempat main layang2 yang agak famous tu.. tapi nana pergi pagi la.. ptg ramai sgt org.. pagi pon lebih kurang aje.. Tasik dia besar.. Once nana ajak my fren jog kat sane.. ekceli we were walking aje.. 2 rounds. Dia dah give-up pon gi sane.. dia kate dia dah lama tak bersenam and tasik tu besar sangat.. dia tak larat.. dia kate slow2 dulu.. so dia nak gi tasik kecik sket.. which is titiwangsa. I dont really like titiwangsa.. bukan la ape.. byk sgt mat rempit and mat tebeng. tu lom kire lagi yang berdating berkepit like nobody's business kat area tuh.. adeh... mmg menyakitkan mata.. hati pon sakit le jugak kot.. ye la kan.. nana mane ade special or steady bf.. so... mmg le pedih aje mata kan? Ekceli.. bile pk2 pon... bukan la nak kate jeles.. tapi berkepit tak tentu arah.. tak pk org keliling ke? malu la.. huhu.. bukanla nana tak penah bercinta.. but i dare not do that infront of makcik2 and pakcik2 yang jalan2 kat taman tu.. hormat la sket.. huhu.. lagi buat malu.. islam melayu plak tuh.. siap bertudung litup bagai.. buat malu agama + bangsa aje...
Lepas balik joging smlm.. i was so bored. so.. nana tgk la tv.. sbb rumah takde astro.. so.. tgk aje la cite yang ade.. sambil sembang2 dgn my mother and sis, sambil tangan tu gatal aje ber'sms' dgn kawan yang ade. So.. i sms Mr Man. Just tanya kabar aje.. and his reply cam buat i rase pelik and kelakar. Dia cakap dia keje yesterday, he said he's sorry sbb xsms or xanswer my call. dia cakap many things happened lately and he dont wanna dissapoint me or make me hope. Ekceli.. i dont really understand.. hope and dissapointment? 2 bende yang i dont really think about rite now.. and not for this next 2-3 years kot. I got my own agenda.. and it is huge. hope and dissapointment towards my plan.. yes.. i have and i did expected.. but for him.. huhu.. pls Mr Man.. i love u being around but to hope for your love.. it was a miracle if it's happen. Macam bulan jatuh ke riba... but i dont wish for the moon to fall on my lap.. it would be a disaster... dont u think so??
Kecewa? mungkin la.. dgn kata2 Mr Man yang camtuh.. nana cuma harap kami leh jadik kawan baik.. really good frens, good companions and good buddies. I dont really hope for love relationship or marriage. at least not now or before my age is 30. huhu... maybe masa tu dah kertu kot... but what ever la.. just live the life to the fullest.. we never know what will happen in the future kan?
So... mendung2 ni... lepas makan sebungkus nasi lemak.. rase nak tido la plak.. kan best kalau leh tido skrg.. huhu.. cuti2 dok umah bawah comforter.. huhu.. best seh... i wish i could do that now.. ahahahah i wish... i wish...
dot... dot... dot... fullstop!