Perasaan yang tak terkawal...

Sejak minggu lepas, nana rase cam pelik aje. ade uncertain feelings.. huhu.. hati tak sedap.. tapi still rasa happy. I am not sad.. but i feel uneasy. Hati cam meronta2... macam ada something yang tak lengkap. Ape?? Nana sendiri pon kurang pasti dgn perasaan sendiri.

Hati nana berdebar2... macam ada yang tak kene... teruk la perasaan camni.. nak sort pon tak tau camne.. Kadang2 rasa cam nak terkeluar jantung ni.. sbb berdegup cam cepat sgt.. huhu... I dont want this feeling.. but i kinda enjoying it.. Nana rase cam org gile pon ade gak..

Minggu ni badan nana tak brape sihat. Asyik pening2 and demam sket2. Maybe sbb period kot. Dah jumpa doktor arini, doktor soh datang balik lepas period utk further checking, kene gi scanning. Huhu.. tak suka scanning.. dari dulu camtuh.. takut seh..

Hmmm.... nana dah tak tau ape nak sambung.. nanti sambung lagi.. nak start keje.. pen-off!

Second Thought.... My New Year Resolution

Ahahahah....!!!!... I still feel like laughing when i read about my very own great resolution that i am going to start this year... i never consider myself getting married. ME??? It feels like dreaming.. wahahaha.... I feel like its tickling my stomach every time i think about it. Tak boleh tahan la...

Anyway... on second thot.. pasal kawin ni.. sbb bukan leh main pakse2.. i remember one of my colleague dulu, her new year resolution is to get married by the end of the year.. huhu.. such a brave move eventho she ended up tak kawin2 sampai skrg. And the best part.. she is still standing strong!!! How did she did that? How did she mend her own feelings? I think i will ask her la nanti bile i jumpa dia.. Tapi for me la.. masalahnye.. kalau desperately wanna get married in the same year.. i am very afraid that i will get myself into a very huge dissapointment. huhu.. Bukan senang seh nak cari life partner. Takut pon ade gak.

So... I decided pasal married thingy ni.. i just let it be aje la.. No specific due date. Kalau ade jodoh... InsyaAllah.. ade la.. yang i boleh buat is to put some effort into the matter. Huhuh.. Nak buka hati untuk kenal lelaki yang kite totally tak kenal or kenal macam tak kenal.. nak buka buku baru.. time and effort.. huhu... i cuma ade 1 word aje for this... M.A.L.A.S..... hahahahahah!!!!


Hm... mengeluh pon tak guna gak.. jadi baikle i doa kat Allah so i that i akan bertemu jodoh... Amin...

Doa Mempermudahkan Jodoh

Dengan nama ALLAH yang Maha Pengasih, lagi Maha Penyayang, Ya TUHAN-ku, aku akui Kekuasaan-Mu, Nikmat lagi rahmat, buat diriku tak terbalas olehku, ya ALLAH.

Ya TUHAN-ku, hamba-Mu ini mensyukuri, rahmat yang Kau beri, umpama rezeki, melimpah-ruah, ya ALLAH.. Alhamdulillah..

Dengan rahmat-MU, Ya ALLAH, KAU pertemukan kami, maka, satukanlah hati kami, titipkanlah rindu antara kami, mekarkanlah cinta antara kami.

Lantas , peliharalah kami ya ALLAH, dari bisikan iblis yang datang menggoda, agar kami sentiasa teguh dalam syariat agama.

Ya RAHIM, permudahkanlah jalan jodoh kami, serta dipermurahkan rezeki kami. Jadikanlah kami antara pasangan yang bersyukur.

Dengan rahmat-MU, ya ALLAH, lagi, sinarilah hati kami, dengan nur iman yang begermelapan, agar kami tidak hanyut, dengan godaan dunia, yang hanya pinjaman semata.

Amin, amin. YA RABBIL A'LAMIN...

This New Year...

Not a very good start..... Rasenye cam malang yang bertimpa2... bak kate my fren... "Ni sume dugaan Allah nak bagi sekarang.. nanti maybe akan ade something better waiting in the future.." huhuh.. what a positive thot?? tapi tak tau le kenape... hati cam tenang menerima dugaan yang datang. nana percaya yang Allah tu sentiasa Maha Adil dan Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang.. i just need to look for the bright side... dalam kesusahan sekarang ni.. mungkin nana akan jumpa kekuatan diri nana yang sebenarnye.. something yang nana tak nampak and tak jumpa.. Maybe....

Resolution... ape yang tak dapat achieve tahun lepas akan di"bring forward" ke tahun ni.. and tahun ni punye resolution pon cam leh tahan gak byknye.. but i finally find something new.. a mission yang rasenye takkan berpenghujung.. "I WANNA GET MARRIED". lepas kejadian eksiden kete 1.1.2009 tuh, i realized that i need a companion. a man who is caring enuf for me.. be there for me.. at least time eksiden camtuh.. and know how to settle the problem.. of course la kan.. kalau tak, what's the point of this whole story??*macam budak2 pon ade gak rasenye.. but mase tuh la rase cam kadang2 kawan2 pon takleh nak rely bile ade masalah camni*

Wishes.... rasenye tak lambat lagi kot for me to wish all of you.. a happy new year.. nana doakan kite sume akan lebih berjaya lagi dari tahun2 yang sebelumnye... Amin..:P

Jumaat yang mendung....

Hari ni... again... i have to replace my dearest mulut tempayan receptionist kat front counter sbb dia mc... demam lepas krismas kot... huhu.. (*macam la sambut krismas*) tau la esok cuti.. i baru ingat nak minta maaf dgn dia arini pasal mengumpat dia before this and cakap buruk pasal dia.. but i've change my mind... tak jadik la kot.. ahahaha... lagipon lepas i cakap pasal her blog entry.. dia tak buat pape pon... saje je cari nahas.. sometimes.. bile nampak dia pon rase cam nak salai2 aje.. biar lemak2 dalam badan dia tuh kurang sket... (*not to say yang nana ni takde lemak or in other word - kurus- but she is worst.. hahahahaha*)

Okayla... just drop topic about her.. buang masa je cerita2 pasal dia.. huhu.. rasenye nak cite pasal ape lak ek... hmmm....

Owh.. smlm pagi.. nana pergi jogging at Tmn Metropolitan Kepong. Tempat main layang2 yang agak famous tu.. tapi nana pergi pagi la.. ptg ramai sgt org.. pagi pon lebih kurang aje.. Tasik dia besar.. Once nana ajak my fren jog kat sane.. ekceli we were walking aje.. 2 rounds. Dia dah give-up pon gi sane.. dia kate dia dah lama tak bersenam and tasik tu besar sangat.. dia tak larat.. dia kate slow2 dulu.. so dia nak gi tasik kecik sket.. which is titiwangsa. I dont really like titiwangsa.. bukan la ape.. byk sgt mat rempit and mat tebeng. tu lom kire lagi yang berdating berkepit like nobody's business kat area tuh.. adeh... mmg menyakitkan mata.. hati pon sakit le jugak kot.. ye la kan.. nana mane ade special or steady bf.. so... mmg le pedih aje mata kan? Ekceli.. bile pk2 pon... bukan la nak kate jeles.. tapi berkepit tak tentu arah.. tak pk org keliling ke? malu la.. huhu.. bukanla nana tak penah bercinta.. but i dare not do that infront of makcik2 and pakcik2 yang jalan2 kat taman tu.. hormat la sket.. huhu.. lagi buat malu.. islam melayu plak tuh.. siap bertudung litup bagai.. buat malu agama + bangsa aje...

Lepas balik joging smlm.. i was so bored. so.. nana tgk la tv.. sbb rumah takde astro.. so.. tgk aje la cite yang ade.. sambil sembang2 dgn my mother and sis, sambil tangan tu gatal aje ber'sms' dgn kawan yang ade. So.. i sms Mr Man. Just tanya kabar aje.. and his reply cam buat i rase pelik and kelakar. Dia cakap dia keje yesterday, he said he's sorry sbb xsms or xanswer my call. dia cakap many things happened lately and he dont wanna dissapoint me or make me hope. Ekceli.. i dont really understand.. hope and dissapointment? 2 bende yang i dont really think about rite now.. and not for this next 2-3 years kot. I got my own agenda.. and it is huge. hope and dissapointment towards my plan.. yes.. i have and i did expected.. but for him.. huhu.. pls Mr Man.. i love u being around but to hope for your love.. it was a miracle if it's happen. Macam bulan jatuh ke riba... but i dont wish for the moon to fall on my lap.. it would be a disaster... dont u think so??

Kecewa? mungkin la.. dgn kata2 Mr Man yang camtuh.. nana cuma harap kami leh jadik kawan baik.. really good frens, good companions and good buddies. I dont really hope for love relationship or marriage. at least not now or before my age is 30. huhu... maybe masa tu dah kertu kot... but what ever la.. just live the life to the fullest.. we never know what will happen in the future kan?

So... mendung2 ni... lepas makan sebungkus nasi lemak.. rase nak tido la plak.. kan best kalau leh tido skrg.. huhu.. cuti2 dok umah bawah comforter.. huhu.. best seh... i wish i could do that now.. ahahahah i wish... i wish...

dot... dot... dot... fullstop!

cerita ikut sedap mulut...

Tadi secara tak sengaja i terbaca one of the colleague punye blog... dan dgn sesedap rase aje.. dia bercerita pasal nana in her blog. ekceli tak kisah la nak cite.. tapi jgn le sampai letak nama betul and cerita details. macam la diri sendiri tu bagus sgt nak mengumpat pasal org lain..

I dont really give a damn thing la about what she wanna say about me.. but telling the whole world negative things about me.. yang dia tau cuma like 1 or 2 percent of the story.. it will eventually reflect our own selves kan?.. for me.. she already become mulut tempayan.. and i need to watch out everytime im talking to her. Lepas ni no more saying things unappropriately. Harap muka aje cantik comel.. tapi mulut cam bontot ayam.(*huhu... kenapa mulut i jahat sgt today?? Marah sgt ke??)

Harini mmg agak panas. Hati yang panas.. tak tau le camne ni... bile hati panas.. perut plak sakit.. huhu.. camne? camne? camne? rase cam nak menjerit plak.. and sbb incidently terbaca blog dia.. wat lagi la hati ni panas. I taknak cite buruk pasal org lain la... tapi she does pissed me off. tak penah lagi i jumpa betina mulut cabul and sebesar tempayan cam dia. maybe i dah misjudged her in the first place.(*kenapa i still nak blamed myself..???)

Hmm.... what to do..?? takkan la plak i nak sound dia depan2 sdgkn it was my fault yang gatal pegi baca blog dia pasal..?? and maybe salah i sbb gi cite pasal my past to her, which she thot was a good topic for her blog entry. Life is always a pain in the ass tapi it depends on own self to make it better kan? I think now i dont know her oredy and i've learned my lesson. never trust new fren eventho she or he looks very nice and petite. huhu... my fault.. i have to swallow this mistake... :((

Okay la... cakap byk2 buat sakit hati and buat tambah sakit lain plak jap lagi.. better i pen-off... Merry Christmas.....

Hey man...

Hey man..
I have no idea what I'm thinking now..
But I wish u know about it too..
I hope u are fine today..
As I care for u deep down in my heart..

Hey man..
I wish I can say this straight to ur face..
How much I miss u..
How much I love u..
But I doubt u feel the same..
Whenever I meet u..
Seeing the way u look at me..
I'll stunned like a stone..
Your smiles washed my doubt away..

Hey man..
U have no idea of what I wish for..
But I hope one day u'll know..
Hope that one day my wish will be true..
For us to be together forever..

P/S:
this is for Mr Man who never know about the existence of this blog... hahah..
wish u well fren.. cepat2 baik selsema tuh...:)

Salam Aidil Adha 1429H

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha to all family and frenz...

Maaf Zahir Dan Batin..

Sama-sama lah kita berdoa semoga kita mampu menghayati dan menterjemahkan erti pengorbanan yang sebenar seperti yang dilakukan oleh Nabi Allah Ibrahim dan Nabi Allah Ismail. Semoga keimanan dan ketakwaan kita bertambah utuh, insya-Allah.

Wassalam.... :D